“Truly, when we are hungry, we are easy prey for the devil. When we are starving for love, he comes to question our identity and challenge us to provide for ourselves.” Michelle Hammond
And she was in bitterness of soul, and prayed to the Lord and wept in anguish. 1 Samuel 1:10 NKJV
Hannah did not have a child. This was already a difficult situation to deal with but what made it worse was the fact the other woman had children and she would make Hannah feel down about her situation. Hannah wanted children but she found herself in a situation only God could solve. You maybe in a situation like that right now. A circumstance that is so difficult. It could be financial, health or even a bad relationship. Whichever state you maybe in, God can see and is able to answer your prayer. God gave Hannah children. God can provide for you too. Don’t stop crying to him. Don’t stop praying. Don’t give up.
“If you’re having a hard time and are at the end of your rope, here’s one thing you can do–tie a knot and hang on! Hope will help you get through.” Naomi Judd
If you grew up in a dysfunctional home
- Ask God to break the cycle of dysfunction. Dysfunction can easily play out in your own home.
- Read the Word of God and ask him to teach you what a good marriage looks like.
- Identify a married couple whose marriage works. Learn from them. Beware because not all that glitters is gold so do your homework well.
- Don’t read books just about singles but also read books about marriage.
- If you have been in relationships, evaluate those relationships and see what part you played in them coming to an end. Were you too needy or were you controlling.
- Evaluate your behavior and see what you picked up from the atmosphere you grew up in that you did not like. For example, if your dad was controlling and you saw how it affected your mother, chances are you will either let others control you or you will tend to go the opposite way and control others.
Hope deferred makes the heart sick…(Proverbs 13:12 AMP)
Sometimes we put our hope on the wrong things; jobs, friends, relationships, cars, houses, and the list goes on. The problem is, all this can fail. A job can end, a friend can let you down, a man can leave you and go for someone else, a car will breakdown and on and on. The higher the expectation you put on the things of this world, the higher the disappointment. You should always put your hope in God because God will never let you down. Man will let you down. This is a guarantee. It will happen. Your girlfriend will let you down. That man who you thought was cute will let you down. That is why it is important to put your hope in God. If you are in pain because you put your hope in something or someone else, don’t feel discouraged but remember the pain you are experiencing is temporary. In other words, it has an expiration date. Trust and believe that God will get you through.
“Worthless Idols, which are all the things that we think will satisfy us and make us happy, only promise us joy but can never deliver.” Martha Macharia
Some reasons why people jump into relationships
- They do not have a growing relationship with God. They do not pray or only pray when they have a need.
- They do not know or have not learnt the importance of asking God about being in the relationship.
- They are desperate.
- They are running away from a bad situation. Especially from home.
- They are on the rebound.
- They do not want to wait or have not learnt the importance of waiting.
- They do not want to hear no from God.
- They have been waiting for a long time and feel like God is not answering their prayer
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7 ESV
It is easy to be anxious about your future partner. You may ask questions like where is he, who is he, has God forgotten about me and the list goes on. The best action to take when you feel worried is to give your concerns to God. God exchanges those concerns with His peace. God’s peace guards not only our hearts but our minds. When we are peaceful, it becomes easy to wait for God’s provision and direction. When we are at peace, it does not matter what the enemy says, we are able to ignore his lies. God desires of us not to dwell in our anxieties because he knows if we do, we will make many mistakes. Why? Because we stop trusting Him and start moving blindly. This is when people choose a man they will live to regret.
“Don’t get caught up in what you don’t have and superimpose your sense of lack over all that is readily available to you.” Michelle McKinney Hammond
Reasons why people seem to make the same mistakes from one relationship to another
- They never learn from their mistakes
- They think they can change someone.
- They do not listen to sound advice.
- They cannot stay without being in a relationship.
- They think a man is there to fill a void.
- They are still broken and think they can only be whole in a relationship
- They don’t want to be alone.
- Too much pressure from family and friends.
- They don’t love themselves hence don’t value themselves
- They have undergone abuse
- Family background
God Causes All Things
And we know [with great confidence] that God [who is deeply concerned about us] causes all things to work together [as a plan] for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to His plan and purpose. Romans 8:28 AMP
I stopped wondering how God does His work and decided to trust Him. Trusting what God says is important otherwise we would not have hope. You, just as I, have probably asked yourself whether the pain you have been through or going through has a purpose. Apparently, it does have a purpose. Just like most fathers, God does not enjoy when we are going through pain. But He will use our painful situations in a way we cannot quite understand. Joseph was sold by his brothers. This betrayal was a source of pain. But God had a plan. And that plan gave Joseph a future and a hope. You may not understand why you are going through what you are going through but God says that He causes all things, not some, but all meaning the good, the bad and the ugly to work together for your good.
The most critical time of the cycle of a relationship is in its beginning stages. You have to be very cautious and discerning. Wait until the sparks stop flying then make long-term decisions.
Signs you are not yet ready to be a wife
- You disappear when people who are near you go through hard times. You will do the same in your marriage
- You still have strong ties and affection for you past. Because most of your decisions are made from the past.
- If you are willing to do anything for sex.
- If you normally use your power to manipulate a situation.
- If you are a lover of money. Money is good servant but a very bad master.
- If you cannot see past peoples mistakes and failures.
- If you are always nagging
- If you are needy and too demanding for time and attention.
- If you are a control freak.
God is Able
Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us. Ephesians 3:20(NASB)
There is nothing God cannot do. He can bring you the man of your life even when it looks like you are running out of time. He can bring the person to you even when you have gone through the worst breakup of your life. Regardless of your past, he is a God of restoration and he is able to heal and restore you. He will turn your ashes into beauty. He is awesome. He is able to do what you cannot imagine. There is no situation that is impossible for him. He cares and his love is unfailing. He will never ever let you down.