There are steps you can take as a single woman that will enhance your life before your husband shows up. In this article, I will recommend 5 which I believe are the most important actions that you should take that will prove advantageous to you later once you get married.
When I was single, there are things I wish I had done differently. I look back and I am like, “I wish I knew.” If you don’t want to say those words after your get married and have a family, then follow my advice. I am not a relationship guru however out of experience, I can tell you that I have learnt certain actions you should take right now.
Read the Word of God and Meditate on it
This is one of the most important actions you can take in your life as a single lady. Take time out of your day and read God’s Word. And don’t just read, meditate on it. This is what happens when you get married. You have to build a relationship with your husband therefore you must do things together that help build your relationship. He comes into your life and you have to make adjustments. Some of the free time you used to have is taken up. You used to do laundry for one and now you are doing for two. You used to make food for one and now you have to make food for two. You used to go grocery shopping for one but now it is for two. If you have a husband like mine who tends to be picky, then you have to get creative with your cooking. This is not a bad thing at all because God created marriage but it is a reality you will have to deal with. There are times you will have to deal with situations between you two and the wisdom you learnt from the Word of God will help you deal with certain difficulties in your relationship.
When you get children, more time is asked of you. You will feel like you have less than 24 hours in a day. Not only are the source of food for your child, you need food to keep you going. You need to cook, clean your baby, shop, change diapers, and so on. You will have to learn how to curve out some time in your day to read at least one verse and meditate on it. You will probably be in the middle of your one minute bible reading and the baby starts yelling. It can be frustrating but if before this season arrives, you had made it a habit to read the Word of God, it is hidden in your heart and in those times when you are frustrated, you will be able to encourage yourself because of a verse that you read or a passage of scripture that you meditated on.
Communicate with God
Spending time communicating with God is very important. Until recently, I had never realized all I did was tell God many things for even one hour but never listen to what He wants to say. This is what most of us do. We don’t listen to what God is saying because all we do is talk. So the first thing I would advise you to do during your prayer time is listening to God. Don’t be in a hurry. I am at the place in my life, I had rather spend ten minutes talking to God and be silent so that I can hear Him speak. You may be directed to a read a verse that will minister to you in a very special way. The more you do this, the more you avoid making many mistakes especially when it comes to the man you will get married to. When you get married and especially when the children arrive, you will not have that much time to pray. But you will have learnt how to pray and listen to God. Even if you will only have prayed for five minutes you will have learnt to listen to God so that when he speaks to you whether you are driving or whether you are home or even about your child, you know it is Him because you have learnt to listen.
This is the one action I beat myself about the most. I never read books. I never went after knowledge. I did not know what boundaries were. If I had read a book on boundaries, it would have helped me. I have had to learn what boundaries are from my husband. As a single woman, you have time to curl up and read a book. You have time to listen to people teach on certain subjects that will help you grow in your life. Instead of watching television all the time, listen to educational programs. You will thank me late. Read books, listen to lessons about money, relationships, marriage, etc. because the difference between those who are successful and those enduring is information. For example, when I was single I did not have a budget. So I did not know how much came in and how much I was spending. By the time I was getting married, I owed lots of money to credit card companies. I thank God for my husband because he had never at any time said to me, when we were struggling financially, that it was my fault. But I have to tell you that there came a time I started feeling guilty because of how much my debt had become a burden to us. I thank God for clearing our debt.
Find Out What you were Created to do and do it
When I was single, I had no idea what God created me to do. Why? I never asked Him. I never even tried to find out what I was meant to do in this life. Now I know. Do you know how much work I have? Ask God to guide you in the way you should go. He has the road map. He desires for you to prosper in every area of your life. You don’t want to be where I am right now. You want to find out and start doing what you are meant to do and when the right man comes along, he will help you do what you are doing. It is easier to do little projects before children come your way. Let me tell you, I have written more than ten songs but I am sitting on them because of how much responsibility I have concerning family and ministry. I have two manuscripts in my computer that I need to go through so that I can make sure they have all the information I want then give to the editor. Trust me when I tell you, start doing what you are supposed to do now before you get married. If you want to write songs, write them. If you want to write books, write them. If you want to start a business, do it. There will come a time, especially if you become a stay home mom, that you feel like you are stagnant. Like everyone else is moving on but you. Do whatever you are meant to do for the glory of God.
Build a Strong Work Ethic
I know of a lady who would never keep a job. Most of the time she would be late to get to work because she would not wake up on time. Laziness is not a good thing and men do not want a lazy woman. It is not a desirable quality. Since you are made in the image of God, you cannot afford to be lazy. God is not lazy. Laziness is not part of His image. In Proverbs 6:6-9 (MSG), scripture states,
“You lazy fool, look at an ant. Watch it closely; let it teach you a thing or two. Nobody has to tell it what to do. All summer it stores up food; at harvest it stockpiles provisions. So how long are you going to laze around doing nothing? How long before you get out of bed? A nap here, a nap there, a day off here, a day off there, sit back, take it easy—do you know what comes next? Just this: You can look forward to a dirt-poor life, poverty your permanent houseguest!”
I am not saying you work and have no days off. It is important to have days off so that you can rest and also spoil yourself. Balance is important in life but you cannot be one who does nothing. God will not bless laziness. With hard work comes promotion. Be on time at work. Do not let something that you are doing wrong be the reason you don’t get a raise or you don’t get promoted.
Always evaluate your life and see where you need changes. The Word of God will help transform your mind which in turn will transform your life.
Author of Waiting for a Husband, The Godly Way
Speaker and Radio Show Host of Woman Transformed
President of Woman Transformed