Christian Living, Marriage Life, Relationships

Starving for Love

I remember a lady I knew who had to have a man in her life. She was beautiful and doing well in school and had a great job but this was not enough. She had to have a man in her life. She was in many relationships and at some point got married to a man she had known for a very short time and had to have that marriage annulled. I could not understand why she needed someone in her life. Why did she have to be in a relationship all the time? It seems she did not want to be on her own. I never got to ask her but she really made me wonder whether she was starving for love. You know when a woman is hungry for love, she is an easy prey for the devil. The devil will make her feel like she cannot make it on her own. She becomes an easy target.

What are some reasons a woman would feel like she needs a man?

Sex – Sex is a very powerful act. Once one starts having sex, it take the power of God to go back to being celibate. Having sex before marriage is going against the order of God hence opening doors for the enemy to destroy the single woman. I will never forget a lady I knew who could not understand why she always wanted to have sex with other men even before she knew them well. She always cried. As frustrated as she would get, she would sleep with a man and feel guilty afterwards. This is because she opened a door for the enemy. In order to get out of this situation, God had to deliver her and he did.

Soul tie – Also, a result of having sex before marriage. I remember a friend who asked me why a friend of hers kept on going back to a boyfriend who was just horrible toward her. I told my friend it was because she had a soul tie. She had slept with him and regardless of how badly she was treated, she always went back. Soul ties cause a man and woman to be connected in a way that creates a bond that cannot be easily broken. This too needs deliverance. God is able to set free.

Loveless home – I remember a friend of mine telling me one day, if you don’t tell your children you love them, someone else will. The truth of the matter is, children need to feel they are loved by their parents. If they come from a home where they do not feel loved, they will look for it everywhere and anywhere. They will do things that makes them feel loved even if they know what they are doing is wrong. I always remember a lady I met once who came from a loveless home. Her mother, if she loved her, never showed any love towards her. One of the things her mother would do was sell her clothes instead of buying her clothes or if she said mom I really love those shoes, she would ask for money for the shoes instead of giving her the shoes. Of course the mother was reacting to something the girls father had done to her but punishing the child was wrong.

Abuse – Sexual abuse is just a problem in this world to say the least. The other day I was watching a story that just broke my heart. This lady had found herself in a bad marriage because she was looking for love. She did not know her father. Her mother had gone back home because she was homeless. After some time, this lady’s grandfather started abusing her sexually and later she got a child. But she never said who the child belonged to. She ran away from home and of course found the first person who she thought loved her and got married. The man was not only physically abusive but he slept with other women too. She left him and went to be with another man who promised her the world only to get a child with him and he left her. It took God not only to heal her but for her to understand that He loved her and wanted the best for her. And that the life she was living was not good.

Low Self Esteem – There are women who suffer low self image. Low self esteem interferes with the ability to have an authentic relationship. A woman with low self esteem believes she is unlovable so when a man tells her he loves her, she does not believe it because she is being guided by her emotions of feeling unworthy or unwanted.  So she tends to create tests for him in order to prove that he actually loves her. She ends up sabotaging one relationship after another. A woman with self esteem issues can easily get into a place of looking for affirmation. It is hard for a man to keep up with the kind of affirmation this woman needs. When he gets tired, he will end up leaving and the cycle continues.

A Broken Heart – Sometimes when people end a relationship, they deal with their pain by getting into another relationship as soon as possible. The reason for doing this is because a woman does not want to confront the pain and go through the process of healing. A woman who ends up on the rebound because she got hurt can easily find herself in the arms of the wrong person. Sometimes in the process of the rebound, one ends up getting pregnant. And this can become a cycle of jumping from one relationship to another.

Whatever your reason maybe for jumping from relationship to relationship, seek God and ask him to heal you. Ask him to make you whole so that you are not starving for love. Ask him to help you feel His love because he loves you and ask him to break the cycle. If you seek God and seek Him with all your heart, you will find him. If a relationship has ended, take time to reflect on what the problem may have been. Don’t blame him and don’t blame yourself but learn from your past mistakes and work on yourself to be the woman God created. The woman who is wonderfully and fearfully made.

©Martha Macharia
Author of Waiting for a Husband, The Godly Way
Speaker and Radio Show Host of Woman Transformed
President of Woman Transformed 


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